Wife backs out of Mount Everest trek after husband pays $1600 deposit, shaking new marriage before anniversary: 'He took it as an affront to his planning skills'

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Oct 24, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Everyone has their own travel style. Some people are beach loungers, others are city explorers, and a few ambitious souls actually enjoy hiking up literal mountains. My parents are the type who love booking guided tours that zip from landmark to landmark with just enough time to snap a few photos and hear a quick summary before moving on. I'm the complete opposite; I love wandering through new cities at my own pace, lingering in museums for hours, and reading every single placard. Thankfully, my husband's the exact same way. But what happens when a couple's traveling preferences completely clash?

One woman found herself in this exact situation when her thoughtful husband booked her a surprise guided hike to Everest Base Camp. In his mind, he figured the adventure would be the perfect blend of romance and meaning. However, he's never done anything close to that level of hiking, he hates camping, and doesn't do well in cold weather, making this trip seem like a disaster waiting to happen.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01

    AITA for asking my husband to cancel our anniversary trip to Everest?

    Couple standing in front of Mount Everest
    via DanielPrudek from Getty Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I got married recently and my husband is an amazing soul. He is very thoughtful and loves to show love with small presents or
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 03
    acts of service. We also are both big travelers and that's one of the many reasons why we connected so deeply on the first date.
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 04
    One major difference in our travel styles is that he prefers art, culture, architecture, shopping,
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 05
    beaches and while I love those things as well, 30% of my trips are around hiking. I'm not a good
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 06
    Man contemplating a piece of art at a museum
    via Sayeed Chowdhury from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    hiker but I visit Colorado, Montana, northern UT/AZ etc for hiking -1-3x a year.
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 08
    Since he pays for a lot of the daily recurring costs I have been paying for most of our recent
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 09
    travels. But, he wanted to plan/ pay for the two bigger trips for our delayed honeymoon and also our wedding anniversary.
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 10
    One day he shared a link to a guided hike to Everest Base Camp in a group chat with the one friend I went to the Peru hike
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 11
    with. I didn't think much of it other than casually saying "yeah sure let's do it," thinking he'll probably circle back if her really
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 12
    wanted to do it. For context, my husband's longest hike has been around 4-5 miles, at maybe 8000 ft elevation. He is
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 13
    reasonably in shape as we go to the gym together 5x week to do HIIT classes, but he does not do anything for endurance training or focused cardio.
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 14
    A couple stand on top of a cliff overlooking a wonderful view of nature
    via BGStock72

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    Well fast forward to last month. He told me he paid for the $800/ person deposit. I was surprised
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 16
    that it costs so much since I haven't done research on the tours, and so I start researching.
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 17
    Then social media algorithms picked up my interest in Everest and started me down the rabbit hole of people dying on Everest
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 18
    (summiting, not base camp, but it's still creepy!) and also the 1000 folks stranded just trying to reach Everest Base Camp.
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 19
    Apparently a few hundred people die on Mt Everest each year. While summiting vs reaching. EBC is very different, the recent
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 20
    news of folks being stranded on the mountains while just trying to reach EBC is not helpful. Plus husband hates: camping (no
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 21
    showers), bad food, when his head is rained on...and also gets low blood sugar if he doesn't eat a snack first thing in the AM. The
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 22
    hike to EBC is a 8-9 day hike at very high elevation, in the cold, with cold pizza & fried rice, and sub optimal showering/sleeping conditions.
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575

  • I know the importance of a good surprise, but I do think that it is important to make super, extra sure that your partner is enthusiastic about something before spending so much money on it.

  • 23
    Hikers stand before a snowy mountain
    via DanielPrudek from Getty Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 24
    My husband got majorly hurt that I showed him videos of people dying, people having a bad time on the hike. He took it as an affront to his planning skills and
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 25
    his fitness levels since he wanted to plan a trip that has personal childhood meaning to me (my parents used to collect plant
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 26
    samples in the Himalayas when I was a kid) and also share something romantic with me in a sport I enjoy doing. The EBC hike
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 27
    is very very very different in terms of endurance, food logistics, and more than the Peru
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 28
    hikes though, and I just feel like with his preferences and physical condition we shouldn't chance it.
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 29
    Now he's hurt because he spent $1600 and I just insulted him basically. I don't really want to go after doing a thorough research. Am I the asshole?
    via u/Fluffy_Sandwich8575
  • 30
    ZooAnimalOnWheels I'm not going to call you an asshole, but tbh, "yeah sure let's do it" sounds affirmative to me. Personally I'd be double and triple checking before spending $1600 on a deposit but depending on your finances that may not have seemed necessary.
    via u/ZooAnimalOnWheels
  • 31
    How far away is the trip? Is it possible for him and you to train yourselves up enough to do it? If it's far away maybe training for it WAS part of his planning process.
    via u/ZooAnimalOnWheels
  • 32
    CardamomMountain You're exaggerating the risk here, it's not summiting Everest. The base camp trek is not dangerous in the slightest - it's just long because you go slow to acclimatise. The snow storm last week was a freak event, not the norm. The food and
    via u/CardamomMountain
  • 33
    accommodation at tea houses is also really good - it's a guided tea house trek with hot food included (it's good food if you like Nepali food), there is no camping. YTA it was a really nice gesture considering he isn't as into hiking and you should go it will be amazing.
    via u/CardamomMountain

Tags

relationship advice Hiking anniversary marriage wife exercise married life relationships husband couples love entitled people vacation
Scroll Down For The Next Article